Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Non-Jews are for practice
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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