This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
