NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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