I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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