The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize