Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you would pick up someone in the library
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
