Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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