my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize