Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
