It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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