Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
