so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
