fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The beer is more important than you right now.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
