You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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