Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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