found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize