That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I will be naked everywhere
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
