You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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