Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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