Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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