He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
