clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
