Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
