Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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