just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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