yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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