i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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