he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
