The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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