I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
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We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
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