her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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