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insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
is that a dick in a sweater?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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