thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
