Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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