I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
