you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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