ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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