I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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