woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
soo... how was my night?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
