I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
