People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
