spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
