return my video game
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
