Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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