I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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