I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize