Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
