Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
