Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
