This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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