Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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