Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You're so nebulous sometimes
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
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LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
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When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?