Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
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What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
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the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.