Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.