i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
