you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
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I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
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i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.