Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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