Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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