Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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