Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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