Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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