Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
