Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
