im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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