never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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