It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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